Unfiltered

A thought occurred to me, as they often do while I'm watching inspirational Instagram reels and drying my hair.

It takes a lot of bravery to remove filters.

I'm willing to bet there are people reading this who don't even recognize a picture of their own face without a filter anymore.

Full disclosure: I personally enjoy Snapchat's "No Filter" filter. (Yes, that's actually a thing.) It softens just enough wrinkles to make me appear refreshed without making me look like a completely different person. But think about that for a second. The fact that there's a filter called "No Filter" tells us something.

Many of us are trying to appear as though we're living authentic, unfiltered lives while quietly putting filters on everything.

And I don't just mean our selfies.

We do this in a lot of areas of life.

Another thought hit me: if we're feeling stuck, down, discouraged, anxious, or depressed, true freedom often lies in facing reality rather than glossing over it.

The more we pretend things are fine, the more likely we are to feel miserable.

Why?

Because our reality isn't matching our filter.

When we're pretending to be happy while we're actually sad, pretending to be financially secure while we're drowning in debt, pretending there's unity when we're living with division, or pretending we're okay when we're exhausted, we create a painful disconnect between what is and what we're trying to project.

That disconnect creates dissonance.

And dissonance is exhausting.

Filters make things look fine when they aren't.

But filters are temporary. They aren't reality.

One of my favorite examples comes from a state-level Zoom meeting I attended years ago. The person running the meeting had the eyebrow enhancement filter turned on in Zoom. The problem? She kept moving too fast, and her eyebrows couldn't keep up.

As she talked, her real face moved one direction while her digital eyebrows scrambled to catch up.

It was hilarious.

But it was also incredibly symbolic.

Her filters couldn't keep up with her reality.

Neither can ours.

Eventually, the filters slip. Reality always finds a way to seep through.

Sometimes that results in a little embarrassment. Other times it can be devastating, depending on how many layers of filters we've piled on over the years.

So lately I've been challenging myself to take a hard look at the filters I've put in place.

Maybe that's taking the "raw" selfie.

Maybe it's telling the truth about how you're really doing.

Maybe it's setting a boundary.

Maybe it's admitting you're overwhelmed.

Maybe it's saying no to the $7 coffee when you know it's not really in the budget.

Maybe it's having the difficult conversation you've been avoiding.

Whatever it is, freedom starts when we stop editing reality and start facing it.

The irony is that most of us think filters protect us.

In reality, they're often the very thing keeping us trapped.

So here's my challenge to you:

Identify the filters, then face the filters and set yourself free....

WHY NOT?

(full podcast on living life Unfiltered coming soon to Dishing with Dr. Duer)