Let's Face It

For a long time, I’ve been fascinated by one question: what actually makes someone truly confident? Not the loud, performative kind that is really disguising insecurity, but the grounded, unshakable kind. The kind that isn’t rattled by pressure, expectations, or the voice in your own head whispering, “you’re not enough.”

Let’s be honest, most of us, at some point, wrestle with imposter syndrome. We wonder what’s holding us back from reaching our full potential. We overthink, overanalyze, and sometimes… we stall.

If you’ve ever met me, you know I’m incredibly proud of my kids. And not in a casual, “they’re great” kind of way. They are truly remarkable human beings.

My son? Brilliant. Mostly self-taught. At 14, he’s pulling a 120 average in college calculus. I don’t even pretend to understand that. He did NOT get that from his mother!

My daughter? A natural athlete. Softball is her game, and she’s played every position on the field and played it well. Last season, she hit .437. Have you ever tried to hit a ball coming at 60 mph? Those results weren't accidental!

And yet, recently, she found herself in a slump.

From the stands, I could see it. The hesitation. The tension. She stepped into the batter’s box not just to hit the ball, but clearly trying not to mess up. She was so anxious about the outcome that she forgot about the execution. If you’ve ever been there, you know exactly how that goes.

Of course, my mental health brain kicked in immediately: What are the thoughts? Where is this coming from?

We’ve talked before about mindset. About how “you get what you focus on.” It's scientific. Your brain doesn't process negative. If tell you NOT to think of an elephant, what is the first thing that pops into your mind?

Exactly.

So I knew I wasn’t wrong in encouraging positive thinking. But then I heard a sports psychologist explaining the same concept, but with a twist. She said, "the harder you try not to fail, the more likely that version of you shows up."

And then she said something even more powerful:

You have to face what you’re running from. You have to face your fear.

Basically, you have to name it to tame it.

So I called my daughter and asked her one simple question: “What are you really afraid of?”

She paused. Thought about it. And then said: “That people will think I’m not good enough. Like I don’t live up to the hype.”

There it was.

Not mechanics. Not skill. Not talent.

Fear.

We talked through it. We looked at the evidence; the real, tangible proof of who she is as a player. Not opinions. Not pressure. Facts.

That night?

Two home runs!! A fantastic game.

Now, was that a permanent fix? Probably not. Growth rarely works that way. She’ll face doubt again. Slumps happen. Fear has a way of resurfacing.

But this isn’t just applicable to softball.

This is true for all of us.

When you’re stuck…When you’re not showing up the way you want to…When you feel like you’re falling short of your own potential…

Maybe it’s not about trying harder. Maybe it’s about getting more honest.

Asking yourself: What am I really afraid of?

Not the surface answer. Not the socially acceptable one. The real one. The one you avoid saying out loud.

Because more often than not, that fear is built on a story… not evidence.

And chances are?

You already have plenty of proof that it’s not true.

"Master your mind or lose yourself.

Train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or else you'll lose yourself every time.

Emotions are powerful...

but they are not always true!

Your strength is not in avoiding emotion (or fear), but in not being controlled by it."

So the next time you find yourself in a slump, on the field, at work, or in life- pause.

Be honest.

Name it.

And then remind yourself of what’s real.

Because sometimes, the only thing standing between you and your potential…

is the internal narrative you haven’t challenged yet.

Own your destiny… why not?