Embracing Change: Life Beyond the Bleachers

It’s been a while since I’ve added a blog. Life has been doing what life does, moving at a rapid rate whether I’m ready for it or not. And apparently, I wasn’t.

If you know me or follow me, you know that as of a week ago, I am officially an empty nester! This transition has made me reflect on what empty nesting can do to a mother. I’ve seen the tears, the loneliness, and those “What am I supposed to do with myself now?” moments.

So, naturally, I did what I always do. I tried to learn from other people’s mistakes... ahead of time. That would not be me.

Preparing for Change

I started preparing for this season long before it arrived. I intentionally built friendships that didn’t revolve solely around my kids’ sports and activities. I prioritized fitness and refused to let that community disappear during the chaos of the teenage years. I continued exploring new ventures, learning new things, and finding interests that belonged to me, not just to the role of Mom. And I’m incredibly grateful I did.

But, there is no way to fully prepare yourself for leaving your primary purpose for the last 18 years in another state. You can prepare your schedule. You can prepare your friendships. You can prepare your hobbies. You can prepare your mind. But your heart? I don't think it's possible.

So…What Now?

I’m not falling apart. I’m not sitting in a puddle of tears wondering what to do with my hands. But I’ll be honest. It’s different. There is still a hole. The workday ends, and around 6:30 or 7:00, I find myself looking at my husband like… Welp. I guess we could go to bed. 😂

For eighteen years, evenings were filled with practices, games, tournaments, homework, dinner, errands, events, conversations, and approximately 4,739 things that needed to happen before bedtime. Now? It’s quiet. And sometimes, quiet is lovely. Sometimes, quiet is really freaking weird.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I’ve been on a self-awareness journey for the past three years, maybe longer. A big part of that journey has been learning to recognize my tendency to create chaos for myself. I’ve spent a lot of time learning about boundaries, busyness, overwhelm, balance, self-care, and fulfillment.

Now, I find myself in an interesting little paradox. I don't want to get so busy that I backslide into old habits of overwhelming myself with busyness. But I also don’t want to sit around feeling sorry for myself. I don’t want to fill the space simply because the space feels uncomfortable. I don’t want to confuse busy with fulfilled. And I definitely don't want to become someone who has nothing interesting to say because all of the interesting things happened when I was raising my kids.

What Else is Out There?

I start looking around. I’m finding little things to look forward to. New experiences. New people. New friendships with those navigating this same strange season of life. I’m picking up old interests I abandoned somewhere along the way—art, crafts, evening walks. I’m giving myself permission to be curious again.

And maybe that's the point. For the past eighteen years, so much of my life has been about being in the stands, the car-rider line, the gym, the auditorium, the dugout, and the endless parade of places where mothers somehow manage to be simultaneously exhausted and completely fulfilled. I loved it. I still love it. And I wouldn't trade those years for anything. But maybe there is something waiting for me on the other side of those bleachers.

If You're Feeling a Little Lost…

Maybe you’re in a similar season. Maybe your kids have left home. Maybe they’ve grown up and simply don’t need you in quite the same way. Maybe your career has changed. Maybe a relationship has ended. Maybe you've retired. Maybe you’ve spent so many years being someone’s mom, someone’s wife, someone’s employee, someone’s caregiver, someone’s everything that you aren’t quite sure who you are when nobody needs something from you.

If that’s you, I want you to know something: You aren’t alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out tomorrow. You can be grateful for the life you had and grieve the life that is changing. You can miss them terribly and still be excited about what comes next. You can feel lonely without being broken. You can feel off-balance without being lost. And you can make room for something new without letting go of everything you love.

So…Why Not?

Maybe it's time to have an open mind. And an open heart. Try the class. Pick up the paintbrush. Join the group. Take the walk. Make the friend. Go somewhere you've never been. Say yes to something that has absolutely nothing to do with your kids. Not because you're done being Mom. But because Mom is only one part of who you are.

For eighteen years, I spent a lot of time watching from the stands. Now, I'm wondering… Is there life out beyond the bleachers? I think so. Actually, I’m counting on it.

So here I am, learning how to navigate this new season, resisting the urge to fill every empty space with chaos, and giving myself permission to discover what makes me feel alive outside of motherhood. I’m looking forward to rediscovering me while still chasing them.

And honestly? I can't think of a better reason to ask: Why not?

Embracing New Opportunities

As I step into this new chapter, I realize it’s not just about filling the void left by my children. It’s about embracing new opportunities that come my way. I’m exploring hobbies that I had shelved away for years, like painting and gardening. Each brushstroke and every seed planted feels like a small step towards reclaiming my identity.

I’ve also started volunteering in my community. Giving back has always been a passion of mine, and now I have the time to dedicate to it. It’s fulfilling to connect with others and make a difference, even in small ways.

Building Connections

In this journey of rediscovery, I’ve made it a point to nurture existing friendships and forge new ones. I’ve joined local groups that focus on interests I’m passionate about. Whether it’s a book club or a hiking group, these connections are enriching my life.

I’ve learned that sharing experiences with others can be incredibly rewarding. We all have our stories, and sometimes, just listening to someone else can provide the perspective we need.

The Importance of Self-Care

As I navigate this transition, self-care has taken on a new meaning. It’s not just about bubble baths and spa days; it’s about nurturing my mental and emotional well-being. I’ve started journaling to process my thoughts and feelings. It’s a safe space for me to explore my emotions and reflect on my journey.

I’ve also incorporated mindfulness practices into my daily routine. Whether it’s meditation or simply taking a moment to breathe deeply, these practices ground me. They remind me to be present and appreciate the beauty of each day.

Looking Ahead

As I look ahead, I’m filled with hope and excitement. The future is a blank canvas, and I’m the artist. I’m ready to paint it with experiences, connections, and adventures.

This journey is not just about finding new interests; it’s about embracing the fullness of life. I’m ready to explore, learn, and grow.

So, if you find yourself in a similar place, I encourage you to take that leap. Embrace the unknown. You might just discover something beautiful waiting for you on the other side.

And remember, you are not alone. We are all navigating our paths, and together, we can create a vibrant tapestry of experiences that enrich our lives.

Let’s step beyond the bleachers and into the world of possibilities. After all, life is too precious to be anything but fully engaged.

Why not?