Can I be Honest?

Can I be honest for a moment? But I mean really honest, the kind of honest where someone might get their feelings hurt. Incoming rant...

Everywhere I turn, someone is offering me “the truth.” You’ve seen it: Does this sound like you? And then you think, “Oh my gosh… it does sound like me. Finally! Someone is going to save me from high cortisol! I'm no longer doomed to have wrinkles! Here it is, my path to fixing everything wrong in life!”

But no, no, no.

Three sentences in, the faint glimmer of hope shining like a porch light on a stormy night starts to fade and I get hit with: “Learn this simple 30-second routine that revolutionize your life for the low price of $99!” 

Or worse, the dreaded “free video” that takes 30 minutes to tell you absolutely nothing except that you need the “quick and easy 3-step process” for a laughable amount of money. By the end, I’m 30 minutes older, still have high cortisol, and my hip still pops like popcorn in a microwave.

So when I say honesty is rare these days, I mean it. And since everyone else is selling “truth,” allow me to offer some actual truth FOR FREE! (no really, absolutely free, no catch!).

Truth Bomb #1: We’re All Aging. (Yes, All of Us)

Shocking, right? Despite the snake-oil promises of 15-second miracle routines, humans have been aging for all of recording human history. No amount of collagen powder or “face yoga” is going to rewrite biology. Bonus truth: If you're like me, you're not old or ugly, your just financially challenged. Don't believe me? Google the Kardashians before and after their hit show. The truth is, money can buy a new face and perky boobs, but that's not reality for most of us. We gotta shake what God gave us.

Truth Bomb #2: Anything Worth Having Takes Work

My parents used to say this, and annoyingly… they were right. Anything worth having doesn't come free. Want the secret recipe for abs? You need:

• New genetics,

• A monk-like level of sacrifice,

• And probably a personality transplant to enjoy chicken and broccoli that much.

That “15-minute abs” video? Yeah. No. The chick selling you that pack of lies has good genetics so 15 minutes is all she needs. Me? I've gotten down to a size two and still didn't have abs. Refer back to truth bomb #1- God didn't give me those. The good Lord knows I probably wouldn't behave if I had them!

Truth Bomb #3: Eyelashes, Botox, and New Outfits Are Like Putting Glitter Stickers on a Sinking Ship

Still cute. Still fun. But they are not the solution and that is a problem that doesn’t actually exist.

You're ship isn't sinking. You’re not broken. You’re just human. So, am I saying that you can't indulge from time to time, absolutely not. You should see my closet! But, I am saying that shiny new things won't make you feel "enough" and anyone telling you "this shapewear will take you from a size 14 to a size 6 and you will feel fabulous" is lying. It's like a tube of toothpaste honey; all that has to go somewhere and it does not feel fabulous!

Truth Bomb #4: You Actually Cannot Buy Happiness

Ugh. I know. Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy me a boat and I've never felt sad on a boat! "Choose happiness" feels like fluff. But it’s not. You can choose happiness before you ever encounter a situation. Happiness is something you decide. It's a mindset. You can find joy in simple things. You can choose happiness more often than not. Not perfectly. But more often. That is why they call it a Gratitude PRACTICE. We have to practice focusing on the good, finding the joy, and choosing to be happy more often than not regardless of circumstances.

Truth Bomb #5: We’re All in the Same Boat

Every single person you see online, filters, fillers, Facetune and all, is also:

• Getting older

• Waking up with mystery pains

• Navigating family members who test the limits of sanity

• Trying to figure out life without a roadmap

There is no quick fix. There is only the daily grind. And you can either wish it all away, or embrace the glorious, messy, joyful chaos that is your life.

Quick Tip: Quit Picking Up Things That Aren’t Yours

I read something recently from a mom who was constantly telling her kids, “Quit picking up things that aren’t for you. Put it down. That’s not yours.”

And honestly? Adults need this tattooed on their foreheads. Because we pick up things that aren’t ours all the time:

• Someone else’s emotions

• Someone else’s expectations

• Society’s impossible beauty standards

• That weird pressure to have a perfect life

PUT...IT...DOWN!!!

When I have clients experiencing "Why is life like this moments?" I have them write down everything they’re worried about. Everything. Dump it out like the junk drawer in your kitchen!

Then draw a circle.

• Inside the circle goes everything you actually control.

• Outside the circle stays everything you don’t (other people’s behavior, opinions, the youth-obsessed beauty culture, that one family member who stirs the pot like it’s their full-time job).

And then? We focus only on what’s inside the circle. It takes practice, but it’s life-changing. You can have that one for free. You don't even need to watch my 30 minute video!!

So… Why Not?

Why not choose joy? Why not accept that aging is normal and filters aren't real? Why not stop chasing quick fixes and start living? Why not focus on what’s actually in your control? Why not let the rest go?

Life is a series of daily choices .And while none of them come in a convenient $99 package, most of them are free, available immediately, and don’t require a 30-minute intro video about nothing.

You know the truth. Now choose a joyful life!!

Why not?