Loosen Your Grip (You Were Never in Charge Anyway)

Did you know that you cannot control outcomes? Yep. Not even a little. I know, I know… shocking news for all my fellow Type A planners clutching their color-coded calendars like emotional support animals. But it’s true. There are simply too many variables out there. You can control your effort. You can control your preparation. But outcomes? Nope. Those belong to the chaotic universe that likes to remind us who's really in charge.

Think about it. You can give 110%, train for weeks, show up early, hydrate, meditate, sacrifice a goat under a full moon, whatever your routine is, and still, someone else might drop the ball. Or a flight gets canceled. Or your car battery dies. Or your parents call with that tone that means you're now emotionally committed to a three-hour conversation about their Wi-Fi. Life is full of weird circumstances we could never predict, let alone control.

And when we hyper-fixate on those uncontrollable outcomes? We forget to enjoy the ride. We forget why we wanted to do the thing in the first place. We turn something we once loved into a stress-inducing event no one asked us to enter. And let’s be honest, being anxious is miserable. No one wins when we white-knuckle our way through life, including those around you, so why not be considerate and chill out.

Instead of obsessing over what you can’t control, put your energy into what you can. Your effort. Your preparation. Your attitude. Your tiny steps forward. If you take pride in those pieces, the ones you actually have power over, the outcome tends to take care of itself. Sometimes even better than you planned. Sometimes in a way you couldn’t possibly imagine. And honestly? That’s kind of the fun of it.

So go ahead, focus on the process. Those daily things that bring you joy and take you one step closer to whatever the dream or goal is. Celebrate the little wins. Loosen your grip on the ending. See what happens!

Why not?